Time well wasted

Tuesday, April 29, 2008
This is baseball...
Apparently I'm pretty bad A at baseball bingo. Don't hate me because I'm awesome.

posted by Brian @ 9:15 AM   2 comments
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Raccoon update
Rickey's brothers, Randy and Reggie, as well as his mother Ronda, have all been caught. Our house is now (hopefully) raccoon free. Sadly I have no pictures as the pest removal guy came when I was at work. But I imagine it looked something like this.

posted by Brian @ 8:50 AM   3 comments
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Rickey the Raccoon
If any of you have been to the house on West Ave lately and have ventured as far as my bedroom you've likely heard the sound in my ceiling. It's a sort of hybrid scream/cry that makes you want to watch Funny Games again with the volume cranked up just to drown out the sound.

Sunday night Billiam alerted me to the fact that the scream was coming from a spot in the floor he could identify right near the vent. What progressed from there was depressingly anticlimactic.

And after a good half hour of getting the vent out, we found a hole with no animal. Apparently they scare easily. Whoda thought?

A trap was the next logical solution. We've had a mouse or two so we had a sticky trap laying around. With the help of a nail to hold the sticky trap down (didn't want little Rickey to get stuck on the trap and then get stuck somewhere else in the ceiling and die) and a cracker, we got the trap set.

An hour later I'm asleep and my phone rings - it's Billy
Me(groggy): Yeah?
Billy(whispering): I can see it
Me(awake): I'm on my way up

I grabbed my camera and vaulted up the stairs. We took off the vent, me with a throwing knife in my hand (thanks for leaving those Taylor, it made me feel better) and Billy with a framing hammer ready to defend our lives no matter the cost...

We found Ricky
Isn't he cute? It was about this point we realized we had nailed down the sticky trap. If any of you have used a sticky trap you know that it's freggin impossible to free a stuck animal from one. So we had a baby raccoon stuck to a trap hammered to a board in a vent. Brilliant.

I don't even think his eyes were open yet.

Billy was excited.

Then he clubbed it to death with a beer bottle - the number one killer of domestic raccoons.
posted by Brian @ 8:34 AM   6 comments
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Hey Girl Hey
(title obviously stolen from Blake)

This is the U of A Police Dept. RAD (rape aggression defense) system pamphlet. Don't get me wrong - I'm all for women beating the crap out of rapists - I just think the picture could use some work.

What I've learned just by looking at the pamphlet

1) Women, do not wear baggy 80's shirts with pants that taper and have elastic ankles - they're just too sexy for rapists to resist.

2) Rapists are easy to spot
a. they have their left hand on their right arm, and vice versa.
b. they like to give hugs while leaning backwards
c. they wear shorts and ankle socks, but not the cool no show ones all the cool kids wear, the tall ones we used to wear back in middle school

3) Balancing yourself on one foot while doing the robot with your arms is the epitome of the ideal stance of aggression - if that does not disorient the rapist I don't know what will.

4) The mens restroom is an ideal location for rape prevention literature - especially when the class is only for women.

Stay safe ladies!
posted by Brian @ 12:56 PM   7 comments
Friday, April 4, 2008
It's about damn time.

posted by Brian @ 12:35 PM   3 comments
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